2013 - Color Hue/nyx.mp3
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[00:04.64]I didn't have the energy[00:08.71]I didn't have the words to check myself on any further[00:16.86]every time I try to pick up my body[00:19.45]I feel like I was picking up a corpse[00:22.58]I laid in my bed and content[00:23.70]letting myself to carry away[00:29.10]I wasn't afraid anymore[00:31.50]not of death because that's never being something that ever bother me or cause me discomfort[00:37.80]I was no longer afraid to look at my parents' eyes[00:41.27]and without them saying a word knowing they were disappointed at me[00:46.75]I was no longer afraid of letting myself down[00:53.70]everything lacked luster everything lacked colour[00:57.10]everything around me just start fading out[00:59.76]like I was me drowned[01:01.77]and it was me who was drowning myself[01:06.34]what's the point[01:08.44]I'd lay on the ground for hours and ask myself that what's the point of succeeding[01:12.85]just die a few years later and all mean nothing[01:18.31]what's the point to being happy about that if it doesn't last forever[01:29.77]but then I thought[01:32.16]why do you think need to last forever for them to be meaningful[01:36.95]I was expecting too much[01:42.63]I wanted to always be happy[01:44.92]and have things alway going good[01:46.70]but that's so unrealistic[01:55.70]so instead of drowning on the fact of life that can't be changed[02:00.22]why not...why not...[02:07.18]why not enjoy that five minutes of happiness[02:09.67]why not try to make my life out of something I am interested in[02:13.32]and none of these things would last forever[02:15.36]but I want them[02:16.00]why is there need to be a deeper meaning than that[02:19.62]why not doing things because you want to[02:23.34]I still struggle sometimes there's days where I feel like my body could crumble at anytime[02:28.42]but I made this choice to stop depriving myself[02:31.58]I made the choice to live
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